Turning the corner

i know i am not even close to figuring this whole living life thing out yet... but i have finnaly taken a step forward and i am hoping its in the right direction... I have relized that i have some of the greatest friends you could ask for... and a family that cares and try's... i have great oppertunities and ways for me to have success in my life... I love to help people and i am glad its one of my passions... wow i truely am blessed... i have got through somethings with out having any negitve reactions... i also have people supporting me... i have my second family that i get to spend a good amount of time with that i love with all my heart... i dont know what to say about it all but all this time i had been looking at everything that was going wrong... when i have so much going my way... i want and will take avantage of what God has given me and live life to the fullest and help people to be able to do the same... I wish that you can see the postives in your life even if they might not be as good or in the same amount as mine... i hole for the best for all of you...

I dont know anymore

You know when you get that feeling that you're starting off in the right direction... but there seems to be lots of stuff pulling you down... and most of the time you dont know exactly what is doing it... Well the feeling seems to be avoidible in a health manner... I have found that if you not exactly deal with the manner or the problems... you focus on the things that are keeping your life postive and health... I want to set my life up that when i have responsibilities such as my own kidds or a wife... i can be the best i can be for them... i want to be able to do things now that will have a postive effect on the people i will come to love in the future.... I'm not saying that doing that should now ignore people that you love... but you should watch what you fill your life with... some-times i cant stand all the so say fun-things that people say helps the pathitic life... i know many people that i used to be really close to that have thrown away there morals and there friendship for so say fun that has a high chance of hurting them in the future... i like to call it stupidness...they dont think about the theory that most people have found to be true... action and reaction.... i think all the time that i want to distance myself from many of the people that are bring me down... well i'm getting all riled up and i'm done with it all....

Are conversations over the phone and Internet making life to impersonal?

The fact that more conversation go on at home with people that we can’t see, seems to be very impersonal. The reality that more break-ups are done over the phone and on the internet then in person gets me worried that people don’t feel the need for personal contact. People have found a way to still talk to some one and without showing as many emotions; emotion are a very significant part of conversation. These are points I would like to bring up while addressing this subject.
I have examined different poles and other types of research on this subject. It’s clear that this generation has more conversations through a variety of non-visual and impersonal means then face to face communication. Which leaves us to wonder what effects this new means of communication will have on our interpersonal relationships?


Couples can communicate via text messaging, cell phone, and instant messaging, while staying busy doing other things. They tend to spend less and less time communicating face to face. These tendencies to driven by constant activity that makes them feel uneasy when they are just talking face to face. This can leave them with a non-personal relationship?
The fewer senses we use in communicating, the greater the chance of misunderstanding each other and then becoming more defensive. At birth the first sense we use is our hearing; and it is the last sense to leave us when we die. When this sense is taken out of communication, intimacy is usually less. Intimacy is basic to all deep and lasting relationships.
Concluding this subject, my personal opinion is that there is not enough face to face communication in this generation. The ability to use all of our sense is lost by not hearing and seeing the person that we’re communicating with. The relationships of this generation are often shallow and brief. This leads to addictive behavior in order to cover up the pain and loneliness inside. This lack of complete communication can lead to isolation and further abandonment of intimacy.

Independent is a funny word....

You look at the word Independent and say.... Thats when your on your own... you dont depend on anyone... and because of that...your life is going to go much smoother...
ok... what i think is... your life will be safer... but in a bad way... you'll always feel lonely... and you'll be scared of everything and every one... pain of the world will motivate you to do anything in your power to aviode that pain you once felt... the more indepedent you become the more shallow you feel, the feeling of emptyness... fills you...
Im a very independent person... i hate it alot... and i have been trying to change that... the fact that i know i am made to depend on other people scares me... i dont want to be safe anymore.. and i dont want to waste my time with pointless activities... so if your independent try and change it as soon as possible... because it is a very hard thing to get rid of....

Love is the only thing...

I seem to find my self in weird little situations becuase of love.. or lust... or whatever you like to call it... just like every one else does...
I see her and i'm like wow... from first glance i cant take my eyes off of her... and it goes further than that... i meet her.. she's an angel... makes me want to be everything i can be and more... the way she looked at me... the way she did everything... left me in a haze... i couldnt talk and i didnt know my right from left... WEll... it always starts good... thats a lie... usally it doesnt... but it did this time...
I get to know her... she impresses me even more... then guess what... i tell her i like her... well wow a mistake right there... she tells me she likes me to... i would like to state though that one of the reason why dating doesnt work out... is because of expectations... i think that one kicked me right where it counts... well this is the part of the story line where we say we will get to know each other a little bit better then date for some time... but most likely for longer becuase short relationships suck... but you cant always plan those sorts of things now can you... well i will tell you right now... plans like that will never work out to the T... well we got pretty close... and then it hits.. the one thing that i always expect... the girl getting scared... well it happens with the guys too.... Now if you can get through this... with her still by your side then some things really working there... but this is a very hard thing to over come... its not the girls fault and not the guys fault it just happens....
Im going to end my story slash babling and get the point... there are some things out in that world that are beautiful and are plan out amazing... like that girl i fell for.. but if you think you can have it all then... you will be misserble becuase you cant....
some times you just have to let go and go for the silver... that girl i fell for.. is most likely never going to be my Girl friend.. which is ok... God most likely doesnt want me dating right now anyways... but she can be my friend.. it will be weird at first most likely but... you know what... Any one that can make you happy and that you can make happy back is worth going through some hardships for.. even if sometimes it doesnt feel like its worth it... But thats what true love is all about right?